Bayhem: defined as the non-stop assault of wild images and loud sounds that come at you from a movie directed by Michael Bay. That is what is expected from his movies, and “Transformers: The Last Knight” will not disappoint the Bay fans out there. It is a long, non-stop and nonsensical action meat grinder of a movie. Are there giant robots – yes of course. Are there gaping plot holes – yes of course. Are there spectacular scenes of motion and movement – yes of course. Will Bay fans eat it up – yes, without a doubt.

To sum up: Autobots are good guy robots that transform into various vehicles. Decepticons are the bad guy robots that fight the Autobots, and they also transform. Autobots are led by Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) who always pledges support to the humans. The robots go all the way back into history, back to the days of King Arthur. The last living descendant of Arthur, along with the “Last Knight” are needed to fend off an attack on Earth from the crazy robot who has taken over the robot planet and is going to smash it into the Earth. Or something like that…

Actually, there is a very broad outline of what goes on in this movie. There might be an overall plot line, but it is obscured by all the action set pieces. Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) is a friend of Optimus Prime and is hiding a group of Autobots in a junkyard in the dessert. Viviane Wembly (Isabela Moner) is a Professor at Oxford in England, and she is the final one related to Arthur. Sir Edmund Burton (Anthony Hopkins) is an English earl with a vast knowledge of the Transformers history and why they are always coming back and mucking around on Earth. William Lennox (Josh Duhamel) is a military guy who is sometimes helping Cade and most times chasing after him. Due a set of some unclear circumstances, they all get together to work with the Autobots and save the world.

The action scenes are fantastic, yet the excessive editing cuts made them all look very choppy. The visual special effects are overwhelming and overbearing. They are done professionally and look terrific, yet the images are just thrown at you for more than two hours. It can just wear you down. The audio sound effects are growling and grinding and full of a lot of noise. There is a bombastic score playing under everything else, which increases the sound level. It is impressive and disturbing at the same time, like not being able to turn away from a bad car crash.

The story meanders from the US to England, where Sir Burton has brought Cade and Viviane together. There is some special staff that used to belong to Merlin, but it was given to him by an ancient Autobot. Viviane is the only one who control the staff, since she is the last of Arthur’s line. Cade had been given a special talisman that identifies him as “The Last Knight”. So, the major money of this movie went to the visual effects and not the script. However, there are a handful of performances that are OK. The plot is secondary to the stunning special effects, so call it a wash.

Mark Wahlberg is always a great action figure, even if the movie bumps into crazy dialog that could come from “The Happening”. He plays the earnest and trustworthy guy who can fight off anyone with his brains and brawn. Isabela Moner does a fair job in her role, nothing too special, but plays it with no problems. Anthony Hopkins does a delightful job as the slightly befuddled old guy who has a glint in his eye and tells you he knows more than he says. Just hope that he does not consider you a “friend that he would like to have for dinner”.

Granted, if Michael Bay is your thing and you have a deep appreciation for all things ‘Transformer’, then by all means, this is the movie for you. However, everyone else still need to determine how much of an action-packed blast in the face you can stand. If you have extra bucks, you can even see the “No Reason to be 3-D” version. It has 3-D on top of the already crowded screen of visual ADHD fever dreams. There are few scenes that use the 3-D to a good effect, but it sails through the film just fine without it.

More than likely “Transformers: The Last Knight” will make a ton of money, either here or abroad. Can it be too much to ask that Bay finally give up ‘his’ franchise? Or will he get enough incentive to come up with a sixth movie… “Transformers: The Ring of the Register”?

Universal Studios has long history of horror and fantasy movies from back in the day. It is time to revive those golden years with something they call the “Dark Universe”. Many of the creatures and monsters from the past will be remade, with the first one in the series called “The Mummy”. This will not be the same one as the 1999 version with Brendan Fraser. No sir, this will star Tom Cruise! But it will have the same big bad monster as the last time, however it will be a female version…

Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) and Sergeant Chris Vail (Jake Johnson) are attached to an Army unit in a far off village in Iraq. Nick is helping to locate “precious antiquities” in the desert, and a bomb explosion has uncovered an ancient Egyptian tomb. Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) is searching for the same buried treasures, and she has a special pass from the London government to assist Nick and Chris Vail. However, what they find is soon to be discovered not as a burial site, but an Egyptian tomb/prison for a wicked Princess Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella).

Ahmanet had become an evil power-hungry killer, who had murdered the Pharaoh and his family. Her punishment was to be entombed alive, as far away from Egypt as possible. But now her sarcophagus is being unearthed and flown to London. There is a secret group there that oversees finding all monsters and destroying them. It is led by Dr. Henry Jekyll (Russell Crowe), however he has a bad tendency to turn into Mr. Hyde. Not the nicest chap on the block. The plane ride does not end well, with Chris Vail being possessed by ‘The Mummy’ (Ahmanet) and Nick shooting him dead. The plane is about to crash, and Nick saves Jenny, but he does not survive.

Until he does survive, without any explanation. But wait, Chris Vail is still there, and he is dead. But Nick can see him sometimes. The Mummy has broken out of her coffin, and attacks the guards at the plane crash site. She sucks the life from them, and they become her un-dead zombie slaves. There is a secretly stashed knife in an abbey nearby. It was smuggled out of Egypt by the Crusaders years ago. But there is a special crystal gem that gives the knife special powers. It was taken off the knife years ago, and now The Mummy needs it badly.

Jenny and Nick work together to help Dr. Jekyll finally capture The Mummy. Jekyll plans to kill and examine the remains of Princess Ahmanet, to find out how she become The Mummy. But Nick has a special bond with The Mummy, because she needs a new victim to kill in a ritual that will make him an Egyptian god. Oh, yeah, there’s lots going on, and the action goes on full tilt. But there is a confusing mish-mash of why most of this happening. Dead Chris Vail is still around on occasion, and he lightens up the mood. Nick is always overwhelmed when he tries to fight off The Mummy, the evil Mr. Hyde, and all the un-dead zombies chasing after him.

So this is pretty typical summer movie, with a bare plotline and tons of wild action. The major reintroduction of The Mummy, and Jekyll & Hyde as an aside, is real reason for the movie. This will become one of many based on the old creatures and monsters in the Universal Studio catalog. They want you to forget the 1999 version (with Brendan Fraser) and take this movie as the exciting start of something big. We will see how that goes. All the acting is OK, for a summer monster movie.

Tom Cruise runs and fights and gets along with his co-stars well. Annabelle Wallis does fine, but not memorable. Russell Crowe is low-key as Dr. Jekyll, and then turns into crazy-town when he becomes Mr. Hyde. Jake Johnson could have been used a lot more to lighten up the tone of the movie. Sofia Boutella is an attractive lady, but she has makeup and shrouding strands that bring her looks down quite a lot…

This creature feature can also be found playing in ‘No Reason to be 3-D’. 3-D does not show up well in dark and dimly-lit scenes, and there are plenty of them here. There are very few times in the movie where any 3-D stands out as a benefit to the scene. It just makes you put on dark glasses in a dark theater to watch a dark movie. It seems like more of a money grab then a way to make a more enjoyable product.

So, make room for sweet nostalgia in your new monster movies. Don’t look for well thought-out plots and dialog. Look for stunts and explosions and visual CGI. Don’t expect great character development, but get ready for lots of action in exotic places. Stay away from light-hearted comedy touches, get ready for serious ACTING!. This is not the 1999 “The Mummy”.

Tom Cruise, you’re no Brendan Fraser!

The latest entry in the DC Comics Extended Universe is “Wonder Woman”. DC has been playing catch up to Marvel in attempting to create a unified movie universe of all their superheroes. Not every example so far has been great, but that is about to change. Being the first major movie to feature a female superhero, “Wonder Woman” has a lot to prove. It proves that a woman can be just as super a hero as any man. Maybe even more, because when she dances, it’s in reverse and in high heels!

On an island hidden from the rest of the world live the Amazon women. They are a group of warriors who train and live apart from the world. They live with a command from Zeus himself to always protect and save humanity. There is another god, Aries, the god of War who would bring death and destruction on the Earth. The only little girl on the island is Diana, but she is no Disney princess. As she grows up, she trains and can fight with powers far above this world. The peaceful island world finally comes into the real world, when a World War I plane falls into the ocean. Diana (Gal Gadot) saves the stranded pilot named Steve Trevor (Chris Pine). He is the first man ever to be on the island.

The Amazons find out about World War I when Germans come to battle on the shoreline to capture Steve Trevor. The Queen and Diana learn of a ‘Great War’ and they know that Aries has returned to trouble mankind. Diana and Steve leave to reach London, so he can deliver secret papers stolen from the Germans. The Allied forces have nearly reached a peace pact with the Germans. But there is an evil German General Ludendorff (Danny Huston) who is willing to work with a disfigured Doctor Poison (Elena Anaya). Together they want to disrupt the peace process by killing off everyone in London.

Diana and Steve learn of these plans and they assemble a team to go to the front and find Ludendorff. They are helped by Sir Patrick Morgan (David Thewlis), who is leading the London peace accords. They get some people together including Sameer (Saïd Taghmaoui), a smooth-talking thief, Charlie (Ewen Bremner) an expert marksman, and the Chief (Eugene Brave Rock). Diana (known as Diana Prince) will lead the fight against the German plan to scuttle the Armistice. They all go to France to the front, and find themselves in the trenches along with the other soldiers. Diana becomes Wonder Woman with her wrist gauntlets, boots, shield and sword. She enters the no-man’s land between the trenches and leads a fight to defeat the German forces.

Diana is sure that the evil General is Aries in disguise, ready to create the War that will lead to the destruction of all mankind. Steve is not too sure, but he and the team will together try and prevent the poison gas from being dropped on London. There is great mayhem and battles going on at the very end. It appears that Wonder Woman might have found a fight that she cannot win. However, there is sacrifice and much effort from all parties involved to end the conflict and bring peace. But how does it end? Who will live on to fight another day, and who will fall on the field of battle? You will need to find out for yourself!

Director Patty Jenkins has put together a fantastic group to create an enjoyable movie. Unlike many of the DCEU movies so far, this is not overly dark and plodding. It does deal with terrible subject of war, but it brings a hopeful enthusiasm to the screen with Wonder Woman’s faith in humanity. The need for a super hero to save people can be done with a female fighter and leader. It is not limited to alien super-strong guys from another planet, or to a guy with cool toys and neat bat outfit. Diversity is a way to give everyone a chance for greatness.

Gal Gadot has taken this role and created a super cool hero that you can admire. She has hints of her greater powers, but she does not feel that she is more special than the other people on her team. Diana has true empathy for the victims of war, and she feels deep outrage when helpless people are put into danger. She seeks truth and a balance of force, but she knows that if she gets pushed to the limit, she will fight back and can win. She becomes Wonder Woman by being true to herself and by following the teachings of her Amazon tribe.

Chris Pine falls into his character with great ease. He finds a way to make Steve Trevor a real person who has a deep love for his country and a knack for finding trouble. His character works well with the ‘Diana Prince’ character in London, to teacher her about social norms, and about ice cream. Everyone else is very well cast and they do an excellent job. Even when Danny Huston and David Thewlis get close to chewing the scenery.

‘Wonder Woman” will make you forget about the TV version, and Gal Gadot will own that role forever. She takes it and makes it a new “Wonder” of  the world. No doubt about it. This new “Wonder Woman” is quite a Gal!