Transformers: Rise of the Beasts Movie Review

“Transformers: Rise of the Beasts” is a Transformers movie about — well, Transformers. What started as a line of Hasbro toys has become a multi-movie franchise. They made the ‘Transformation’ from toy, to Saturday morning cartoon — to multi-million dollar block-buster movies. These are plot-thin and CGI-heavy movies, and are never the prettiest things around. In this case, there is just a small amount of Beauty in these ‘Beasts’…

In the prior Transformer movies, there were only two different robot types. There were the good-guy ‘Autobots’, led by Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen). There is also Bumblebee (voiced by various movie clips, songs, and other audio clips) and this one is a crowd favorite. Another big Autobot player is Mirage (voiced by Pete Davidson), who brings a refreshing attitude to the franchise. There are also a few other ones on the ‘good guy’ team. One other is a powerful motorcycle called Arcee (voiced by Liza Koshy).

The ‘bad-guy’ type ‘Decepticon’ robots are not in this movie. Instead there is a new breed of evil-doer, the ‘Terrorcons’. These are mostly a group unnamed minions. But the head of this delightful bunch is Unicron (voiced by Colman Domingo). It is a planet-sized Transformer ready to conquer and snack on any planet. This dude has an evil toady named Scourge (voiced by Peter Dinklage) and he is always ready to take down the whole planet.

Many ages ago, Unicron attacked and took over a planet that was home of the Maximals. This is a robot type that can turn into various types of animals. There were a few that escaped to Earth. These are led by Optimus Primal (voiced by Ron Perlman), and he is a gorilla. They also have Airazor (voiced by Michelle Yeoh), who is a peregrine falcon. There are other types, including one that is cheetah and another as a rhinoceros.

The Maximals escaped with a McGuffin device that is called the ‘Transwarp Key’. In other movies, this was the ‘AllSpark Cube’. Same difference, really. But the evil Unicron and his hench-bot Scourge are on the lookout for the device. The Maximals have it in safe keeping on Earth. It is broken into two pieces, so it will be hard to find. The Maximals leader Optimus Primal has made sure that Omicron will never get the whole thing.

But he has forgotten the cardinal rule of Transformers movies. “Get a human involved, and things get really messed up”. I think that is how it goes. In this case, that human is Noah (played by Anthony Ramos). He is from New York, and he is down-on-his-luck. There is a young brother with medical issues and a mom who works too hard. Noah is passed over for job interviews. He decides to try his luck stealing a car.

This car that Noah tries to steal is actually the ‘Autobot’ called Mirage. Mirage is on lookout in a garage, looking like a sweet, sweet Porsche. But when Noah tries to steal Mirage, he gets into a friendly exchange with Noah about being best buds and stuff. All while the police are pursuing Mirage at high speeds down Manhattan streets. Mirage hears an emergency call from his leader, Optimus Prime. Mirage, and Noah, will be going on a mission.

Of course, there is an unexpected helper by the name of Elena (played by Dominique Fishback). She is a Natural History Museum intern who is wicked smart. Late one night, she is checking out an ancient artifact with strange markings. This turns into one half of the ‘Transwarp Key’. You know, that thing that was broken in two by the Maximals ages ago. But where in the other part? Well, Elena has done her homework, and she figures out that the rest of it is in Peru.

When the Key is exposed, there is a signal to all of the robots. All of the Autobots in the group come to her aide. Becaue the Museum is attacked by Scourge and his band of cranky, clanky robots. Optimus Prime is willing to put a hurt down on Scourge, and Bumblebee, Mirage – plus a few others – are there to help. The Maximal falcon named Airazor is in the area, and she helps to bring down the Terrorcons.

The Autobot regroup (after an unexpected loss), and they decide to get to Peru. Elena thinks she knows where the second half of the ‘Transwarp Key’ might be hidden. Noah goes along because he would be helpful for fighting against a robot that can eat planets – right? No problem with that logic.

The mountains of Peru are where the remaining Maximals are hiding in the forest. All of the players involved made a pact that Scourge and Unicron will ever get a hold of the complete ‘Transwarp Key’. So it is off to Peru, with an older Autobot friend named Stratosphere (voiced by John DiMaggio).  He turns into a transport plane and it is away we go.

Autobots meet up with the Maximals. Optimus Prime meets up with his counterpart, Optimus Primal. If there ever was an underwater version of a robot that had eight tentacles, I’m sure that one would be named ‘Octopus Prime’. Anyways, the Terrorcons are hot on their trail. Noah and Elena hunt for a missing half of the ‘Key’.

But Scourge is a tricky little stinker. After all, his voice is supplied by Peter Dinklage. When everyone vows that Scourge will never get both pieces of the ‘Transwarp Key’ – so you know that is exactly what will happen. When the Tranwarp Portal is just about to open enough to allow Omicron in and start munching, that is where the CGI hits the fan!

Will the Autobots succeed in preventing Omicron from having a little Earth buffet? Will the Maximals get a boost to ‘Maximals Wage’? Will Elena get credit for finding the new hidden ancient city in Peru? Will Noah get some health insurance for his young brother? And maybe can Noah score a pension for himself? Maybe, if he can get it good with that new ‘G.I. Joe’ company…

“Transformers: Rise of the Beasts” is a middling new entry in the Transformers franchise. It is one of the few that is NOT directed by Michael Bay. Steven Caple Jr. does everything in his power to copy the style of Bay. He never quite reaches the level of ‘Bayhem’ that the Transformers movies are known for.

It is nice to see that the human dude does not always have to be a White guy. Anthony Ramos is pretty good in the emotional scenes. Also, Dominique Fishback does not follow the old rules of these movies to have some shapely Blond White woman as the co-lead. She has better things to do, like being wicked smart.

There is a real change of pace that also helps with the voice portrayal of Mirage, done by Pete Davidson. He adds a comedy element that is missing in many of these oh-so-serious Transformer movies. Peter Cullen, as a long-running voice actor for Optimus Prime, adds a steady calm to the proceedings. Peter Dinklage is an unusual chose that works out well.

“Transformers: Rise of the Beasts” is a new entry into Transformers franchise. Just don’t expect it to ‘Transform’ into a great movie.